Ladies and Gentleman...let me present -

In this corner... Weighing in at approximately $5200 in net assets, including an $800 dollar 1981 Volvo station wagon; Based in the ever-lovely downtown Troy, NY; Bringing you studies of the appropriation of technology, anti-poverty and community development activism, and a dissertation that just won't die... Virginia Eubanks, Editor of Brillo Magazine!

And in this corner... Weighing in at $795.7 million in net sales for 2000, including hundreds of millions in sales in pool cleaners and fungicides; Based mostly in Princeton and South Hackensack New Jersey, but branching out to seize Brazilian businesses, becoming a true multinational corporate giant; Bringing you ways to deodorize your house, your clothes, and your person, as well as unique advertising strategies that perpetuate backwards and frustrating stereotypes about women and household hygiene... The boys from Church & Dwight!